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Being friends with other parents
children start school, some parents start seeing each other outside of school.
Do you feel like you should do that too?
At school like anywhere else, some people have more affinities and become friends. Thatís nothing new. Whatís new for you is the fact that these people meet at your childís school while your children play and learn together.
When moms become friends, their children get looked after together, do homework with each other and prepare school projects that sometimes are much more inspired than that of those who worked alone. A mom who sees that could wonder if she should make an effort and ask other parents over now and then. On the other hand, introverted moms perceive all these social efforts as a burden. Do you really have to make friends at school, too?
School gives you the opportunity to hang out with people who are at the same point as you are. Even your best friend doesnít know what your childís teacher is like, how funny the principal is and who does what at the Parent Association. Stories give you something in common, extracurricular activities too, and it gives you something to talk about in the morning. Thatís a great aspect of school.
In the meantime, you meet the little brothers and sisters, and you see how your children play together. Itís almost a family moment and these sweet times reassure you about your childís school years.
ďWould you like to go shopping?Ē
Things get complicated when your friendship leaves the school. Five things could happen:
- You are chuffed to find such a good friend with whom you can pick apples and share secrets.
- Your new friend is okay, but you donít have much in common outside of school.
- Your friend is awesome but your children donít get along.
- You donít have mom friends at school, and you feel rejected.
- You donít have mom friends and you donít want any.
If you found a friend for life, good for you! You can meet new BFFs everywhere and finding one is always good news.
However, you could realize that your new friend isnít one. Perhaps sheís overwhelming or maybe she avoids you. In both cases, you should avoid confrontations at all costs. Arguing parents always have an impact in the schoolyard because your kids arenít blind. You should also avoid talking behind your friendís back because it sets a very bad example.
Our children donít get along
If your children donít get along, you donít have to force them; you can very well be friends without imposing your friendship. Meet without the kids or let them play on their own. After a while, they could discover common grounds but in the meantime, itís not worse than having a single friend.
What if I have no friends?
The mom of a third grader recently told us: ďI see a lot of moms who have a common babysitter; they go out together and seem to get along. Some even go on trips together even if they only met last year. But no one ever calls me, Itís almost as if everyone stopped talking when I tried to mingle by the school door when we dropped off our kids. I hope my daughter wonít suffer from this.Ē
Obviously, a stay-at-home mom who has a great relationship with the father of her children needs a lot less help than single moms who share rides, and call each other in case of emergency. Itís not because they reject you, itís because you are doing fine on your own. If you really want to make friends at your childís school, ask other moms to go out. However, keep in mind that you donít have to push this in order to make your child happy. Children get along on their own, and will soon manage their own friendships.
What if I donít want any friends?
Your child could also be friend with these womenís children. Because of that, you will be invited to sports events, movie nights and birthdays. Although you accept their invitations now and again, you may not want to change your busy social schedule.
If you donít want to change your ways, if you think that your circle of friends is perfect as it is or if you are introverted, donít be afraid to look awkward or weird. Explain the situation. You have a lot to do already just because youíre a mom, and you are who you are. No one will ever resent you for it.
To read more articles from Motherforlife website, please visit Motherforlife.com
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